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Punk Rock XmasOne of Rhino Records' earliest releases was a green-vinyl, Christmas-tree-shaped, four-song EP simply entitled Christmas Rock. Anchored by the Ravers' 1977 regional hit "Punk Rock Christmas," that little piece of plastic set the stage for Rhino's near dominance of an emerging market of Christmas collectors. Over the years, Rhino continued to show a remarkable affinity for holiday music, releasing some of the best Christmas compilations in the history of the universe.

Fitting, then, that nearly 20 years later Rhino compiled the Ravers' rave-up along with 17 other slices of noise on an indispensable yuletide treat, Punk Rock Xmas (1995). The spiritual core of Punk Rock Xmas is "Fuck Christmas," an unforgettable affront to decency from the L.A. hardcore group Fear. Singer Lee Ving (clever, huh?) sets the stage with a quasi-metal soliloquy about the joys of the season, only to conclude, "For me, it's not that sweet." And then, after he bellows the titular phrase eight frenzied times, it's over - 44 seconds after it began.

"Fuck Christmas" may be the zenith of Punk Rock Xmas (or nadir) but there's a lot more to love (or hate). How about El Vez's "Feliz Navi-Nada," which marries Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad" to John Lydon's "Public Image"? Or "Homo Christmas" by Pansy Division, a holiday celebrated by "licking nipples, licking nuts, putting candy canes up each other's butts"? Or Sloppy Seconds' disarmingly competent cover of "Hooray For Santa Claus" from the legendarily awful 1964 movie, Santa Claus Conquers The Martians? Or the simple pleasure of the Dickies rushing headlong through "Silent Night" like their lives depended on it - finishing in just over two minutes?

Simply put, Punk Rock Xmas is not your normal Christmas compilation. These are songs for people who love to hate Christmas, and there's room for them in our hipster winter wonderland. Not many of these songs aspire to (and even fewer achieve) anything resembling significance. At most, they flip a symbolic middle finger to an institution deemed bourgeois and corrupt. At their very least, they are puerile, adolescent temper tantrums - and a helluva lotta fun. And, well, that works for me. Altogether, I recommend 15 of the 18 tracks on Punk Rock Xmas (see below). I placed three of them in my Top 100 Songs, and I slotted the album into my Top 20.

New Wave XmasGabba Gabba Ho Ho Ho

The loud-and-fast kind of punk rock didn't produce a lot of big names, and a lot of the bands on Punk Rock Xmas are obscure, indeed - even more so decades after the fact. But, no punk rock act is bigger than New York's iconic Ramones, a band that could make a valid claim to having invented the stuff. Their "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)" is certainly the highest profile track on Punk Rock Xmas and it's the perfect marriage of Johnny Ramone's chainsaw guitar with Joey Ramone's disarmingly sweet vocals. The band first released "Merry Christmas" in 1987 as the b-side of a UK single, and they later included it on their 1989 album Brain Drain - though in a new, more polished version. Punk Rock Xmas includes the hard-to-find single version with all its rough edges intact.

Another act on Punk Rock Xmas qualifies as a big name - though you wouldn't know it at first glance. The Greedies were an unlikely collaboration between members of decidedly old-school rockers Thin Lizzy and the Sex Pistols, princes of English punk. The Pistols had disintegrated in early 1978, and their infamous bass player, Sid Vicious, was dead little more than a year later - though not before murdering his girlfriend. Thin Lizzy's lead singer and bass player, Phil Lynott, was a punk ally of sorts, and he formed the Greedies (originally Greedy Bastards) with the guitarists and drummers from both bands: Steve Jones and Paul Cook (Sex Pistols), Scott Gorham and Brian Downey (Thin Lizzy). They played a few gigs, cut one single, "A Merry Jingle" (1979), appeared on Top Of The Pops - and that was that.

"A Merry Jingle" is hardly a masterpiece - just a medley of "Jingle Bells" and "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" that favors Thin Lizzy more than the Sex Pistols. But, it's a good time and a genuine historical artifact, and it's rarely been reissued in subsequent years.

The Damned
Greedies
The Dickies
The Ravers
Fear
Sloppy Seconds

Consumer Notes

Punk Rock Xmas was part of a loose series of compact discs compiled by Rhino Records at the height of the CD era documenting holiday music in a dizzying variety of genres including jazz, blues, doo wop, country, Latin, reggae, and swing (read more). Collectively, they documented the history of recorded Christmas music in the 20th century. Of particular note is New Wave Xmas (1996), part of a much larger series dubbed Just Can't Get Enough: New Wave Hits Of The 80's. Compiling tracks by Squeeze, XTC, the Pogues, the Pretenders, and more, it's the perfect, if less aggressive, complement to Punk Rock Xmas.

All of these Rhino compilations are out of print, though copies circulate on Amazon, Discogs, eBay, and around the web. But, Rhino licensed tracks from many disparate labels for use on those specific albums - long before there was such a thing as iTunes or Spotify. So, sadly, none of Rhino's Christmas collections made the leap to the world of downloads or streaming. I wish I could say that there are equivalents in the virtual world but, mostly, there are not. Unlike many Rhino compilations, however, Punk Rock Xmas consisted of relatively recent recordings, many released during the digital age. So, you should be able to find most of the tracks online. Happy hunting! [top of page]

Albums Albums

SongsEssential Songs

  • Christmas, Christmas (Mojo Nixon, 1995)
  • Daddy Drank Our Xmas Money (TVTV$, 1995)
  • Feliz Navi-Nada (El Vez, 1994) Top 100 Song
  • Fuck Christmas (Fear, 1982)
  • Homo Christmas (Pansy Division, 1992)
  • Hooray For Santa Claus (Sloppy Seconds, 1992)
  • It's Christmas (Bouquet Of Veal, 1995)
  • (It's Gonna Be A) Punk Rock Christmas (Ravers, 1977)
  • Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight) (Ramones, 1987) Top 100 Song
  • A Merry Jingle (Greedies, 1979)
  • Merry Xmas Blues (Celibate Rifles, 1982)
  • Mr. Grinch (D.I., 1994)
  • Run Rudolph Run (Humpers, 1993)
  • Silent Night (The Dickies, 1978) Top 100 Song
  • There Ain't No Sanity Clause (The Damned, 1980)

Further ListeningFurther Listening

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